sick and madder than heck

Seriously, that title does not even remotely come close to what I am feeling right now. I am working some more on Ammon’s first scrapbook; having decided to complete his Christmas and New Year’s page today (I had already started it weeks ago). I went to print all the pictures that I needed – and cannot find the pictures from these two holidays anywhere. Anywhere. I kept myself from doing something rash – like yell and start throwing things – by telling myself, “I’m looking on the wrong disc.”, or “Maybe I had them in more than one folder in my editing program.”. No. No such luck. Never in my life have I been so upset. The pictures from my child’s first Christmas are gone – GONE! Strangely enough, when I did the disc for December and January’s pictures, they were on the disc. I always double check that everything transferred correctly before deleting my pictures off my hard drive. Always. I am paranoid about things – like something similar to this – happening to my precious photographs. Again, these pictures were on the disc when I checked – I even wrote “Chrima/NewYr” on the disc when I labeled it afterwards. Brian came home and very sweetly tried to help – I think that he was fearful of what I might do (probably what I would do to him) should these pictures not be found. He looked on our external hard drive where we back everything up. Not there. Another strange happening: I had already formatted the pictures that I wanted to use weeks ago – putting them in a collage format in a Word document – and that is gone also. So strange - I am pure sick. It is almost as if some outside force does not want me to document these memories! (Coincidently: This is my third attempt at making this post. Someone is having fun messing with my head today – and they do not know what they are getting themselves into!)

I had a nightmare that something like this would happen. And for all of you folks who have been told that my dreams come true: this is living proof. Just thinking about it is making me even more upset...

One good thing: I still have some of our holiday pictures on my camera’s memory card; however, I have deleted a lot of them. I guess that is better than nothing – and all is not lost.

On a lighter note: Ammon likes trying to sit up. His new thing is to sit on the floor and try to balance by putting his hands on the floor. He only took one nose dive today trying to reach for his duck. Such a big boy. He is also continuing to give the appearance of teething (i.e.: drooling, chewing and sticking everything in his mouth to munch on). Let’s hope that this is just a premature thing – he’s growing up far too quickly for his mom’s own good.