play

"The creative habit is like a drug.

The particular obsession changes,

but the excitement, the thrill of your creation lasts."

[ H. Moore ]

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.

That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.

[ Emily Kimbrough ]

baby jacob | revisited

When I dropped off baby Jacob's package - I wanted to grab a couple of extra shots. My friend also wanted to take advantage of his alert, content mood - and get a few happy, bink-less shots (something we had struggled to acheive the first time around). I was - of course - thrilled to oblige. Like I mentioned - I really wanted to redo one of the images we captured at his newborn shoot. I wasn't completely happy with the one that I got that first afternoon. I'm not sure that I like this one more - but it is what it is. Enjoy.

a quarter and a half

Clair approaches Cliff with the thought, “We have to do something really special for our 25^th anniversary.” To which he quietly replies, “But, dear, we’ve been married 22 years.” Claire: “So?” Cliff, quietly: “What about the 23^rd anniversary? I mean you just don’t want to whisk by that.” Claire: “No, I don’t want to whisk by it.” Cliff: “But you just went right to the 25^th. I mean, you had the 23^rd in your rearview mirror. And the 23^rd was sitting there on the curb with its head down and just saying, “I don’t know why she doesn’t like me … just because you can’t divide me by five. I mean, I’m an anniversary and I’m a good anniversary, so don’t be putting that 25 in my face.” [The Cosby Show]

I don’t know why the prospect of '25' meant so much to me this year. But on July 17th, my birthday - it did.

Birthdays are all the same in my opinion - special days, to be sure - but each year is just as important as the one that came before. And the one that will follow. I don’t think that my birthday this year was any more valuable than last years. Or than the one that will come next.

I guess I just realized this year that I am a quarter-of-a-century old. And it started to toy with my mind. In a good way.

For a couple of weeks only, my mom and I shared a special secret. I could say that I was 25 ... she could still say that she was 50. A quarter and a half, perfectly.

I don’t know why this seems like such a neat thing. To me, it does. Maybe it made me realize that I am half of my mom. Or that I’m, in a sense, halfway to being as good as her. Whatever the reason, it made me think a lot. And made me very grateful to have the mother that I do. Thankful for the time she has given me. I’ll be her half, any day.

I'm five years old,

it's getting cold,

I've got my big coat on.

I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you,

I run and run.

Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides -

look now, the sky is gold.

I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home.

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall -

I know you're not scared of anything at all.

Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away -

but I know I had th

e best day with you today.

I'm thirteen now

and don't know how my friends could be so mean.

I come home crying

and you hold me tight and grab the keys.

And we drive and drive

until we found a town far enough away.

And we talk and window shop

'til I've forgotten all their names.

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school -

but I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you.

Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay -

but I know I had the best day with you today.

And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall -

I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong.

And I love you for giving me your eyes -

for staying back and watching me shine.

And I didn't know if you knew,

so I'm taking this chance to say -

that I had the best day with you today.

Lyrics: The Best Day; Taylor Swift

baby jacob | sneak peek

What a joy it was - sheer heaven! - to photograph this sweet little thing when he was 5 days new. How darling he is! We had a rough go of things - to which his mother can attest - but I wouldn't trade our afternoon together for anything in the world. How lovely it was to have a little pink ball of fuzz - straight from heaven - in my home. I can't wait for more opportunities - as this little boy grows - to capture the profound moments that make up his life.

We're so glad to know you, Jacob. You've certainly come to a wonderful, wonderful family. Though you've been a part of it all along ... we're glad you're here now. It will be such fun to watch you and your two older brothers grow up together. It will be nice to watch your family evolve and strengthen and grow ... with you a part of it. We love all of you - but I will offer a shout-out to your lovely mom. Only she would come to a complementary photo shoot (not even a week after giving birth), bearing gifts. Brownies, no less. My, what that says about her - and it's all true. Thank you. Thank all of you - for being you.

We love you, Jacob. We simply adore you. Here's to a beautiful life. Enjoy.

ordinary men

There is a box.

And in this box are sweet little things.

And those sweet little things are mostly pink.

But some are not.

And maybe one day – they will be used.

But not today.

This box has a name.

It is known simply as – ‘the girl box’.

Truth: I never wanted a daughter. I have always – or for as long as I can remember, anyway – wanted sons. And lots of them.

I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because I grew up around a lot of boys. A lot of boys that are very special to me. Boys who taught me how to take care of myself. Defend myself. Win a fight. Tie a knot. Dance myself silly. And play a perfectly executed game of NFL Monopoly. Boys who helped make me who I am today. There were girls, too – but for some reason, I was closer to the boys.

Whatever the reason – I never gave ‘having a daughter’ much thought until I was pregnant with Ammon. Everyone – to include myself – thought I would have a girl. And I became obsessed with the thought. With the notion. With the very idea – of having a baby girl. But it wasn’t meant to be. Not that time.

Now that Ammon is around – filling our days with fire and spunk – I can picture her. I can imagine what she looks like. And, truth: I wish for a daughter.

Again, I say: I don’t really know why. But I hope, one day, to balance out the dirt and trucks and ties and white-collared shirts with tea sets and ribbons and bows and frills. And polka-dot tights, please. But it's not today. And so these things wait – because I have been collecting, of course. They wait for a day when they can be used by a little pink thing with dark chocolate eyes, and the longest of lashes.

I’ve added to ‘the girl box’ lately. And several random thoughts have been running through my mind. About the wonder of girls, and what makes them – us – different. It’s a concept I’ve fought long and hard to explain to Brian.

Brian comes from a family of boys. Nearly all boys. A family where girls are truly a novelty. It’s been “fun” over the years to hear Brian’s perception of the female race. About the whining, and tattle-telling, and prissy-ness, and spoiled-ness, and the incurable urge to own every pair of shoes on the planet. It’s been a rare treat to watch this perception change. Whether because he has seen his few female cousins (who gave birth to said perception in the first place) grow into beautiful, astounding women, or because I have whipped it out of him – his views have changed. He realizes that we aren’t all that bad. All the time, anyway. And – his opinion of us has changed so much, that he actually wants a daughter of his own, now.

It’s a funny thing. Brian is long past his “Little Girls are Evil” stance – but every time I reflect on the whole situation, I can only think of one thing. Just one thing. I think of the song “I’m An Ordinary Man” from My Fair Lady. Brian’s issues were never quite the same as Henry Higgins. So, I don’t know why I think of this fabulous rant. I just do. It’s one of my favorites.

I thought I’d share it with you. I’m not going to post a video. If you haven’t seen My Fair Lady, do it now. Please. Do yourself a favor. The film is wonderful, of course – but I adore the stage version with Julie Andrews. My idol. And, I prefer this particular song better on that Original Cast Recording. No one can do talk-sing like Rex Harrison. Makes me yearn that I had been alive to see it.

So – here’s to little girls. Here’s to us – when we’ve grown up. And – here’s to the ordinary men that make us tick … and twitch, alike.

Professor Henry Higgins to Colonel Pickering:

I find the moment I let a woman make friends with me

she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious

and a damn nuisance.

And I find the moment that I make friends with a woman

I become selfish and tyrannical.

So here I am – a confirmed old bachelor

and likely to remain so. But after all, Pickering:

I'm an ordinary man,
who desires nothing more
than just an ordinary chance
to live exactly as he likes
and do precisely what he wants.

An average man am I,
of no eccentric whim,
who likes to live his life, free of strife,
doing whatever he thinks is best for him.
Well – just, uh, an ordinary man.

But –

Let a woman in your life,
and your serenity is through.
She'll redecorate your home
from the cellar to the dome,
then go on to the enthralling fun
of overhauling you.

Let a woman in your life,
and you're up against a wall.
Make a plan and you will find
she has something else in mind,
and so rather than do either
you do something else that neither likes at all.

You want to talk of Keats or Milton;
she only wants to talk of love.
You go to see a play or ballet
and spend it searching for her glove.

Let a woman in your life,
and you invite eternal strife.
Let them buy their wedding bands
for those anxious little hands.
I'd be equally as willing
for a dentist to be drilling
than to ever let a woman in my life!

I'm a very gentle man,
even-tempered and good-natured
whom you never hear complain;
who has the milk of human kindness
by the quart in every vein.

A patient man am I,
down to my fingertips;
the sort who never would, never could,
let an insulting remark escape his lips.
A very gentle man.

But –

Let a woman in your life,
and patience hasn't got a chance.
She will beg you for advice.
your reply will be concise,
and she'll listen very nicely,
then go out and do precisely what she wants!

You were a man of grace and polish
who never spoke above a hush.
Now all at once you're using language
that would make a sailor blush.

Let a woman in your life,
and you're plunging in a knife!
Let the others of my sex
tie the knot around their necks.
I'd prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
than to ever let a woman in my life!

I'm a quiet living man,
who prefers to spend the evenings
in the silence of his room;
who likes an atmosphere as restful
as an undiscovered tomb.

A pensive man am I,
of philosophic joys;
who likes to meditate, contemplate,
free from humanity's mad inhuman noise.
Just a quiet living man.

But –

Let a woman in your life,
and your sabbatical is through.
In a line that never ends
come an army of her friends;
come to jabber and to chatter,
and to tell her what the matter is with you!

She'll have a booming, boisterous family,
who will descend on you en masse.
She'll have a large Wagnerian mother
with a voice that shatters glass.

Let a woman in your life!
Let a woman in your life!

I shall never let a w.o.m.a.n in my life.

post-it note blues

I’ve been clearing off my poor, ravaged laptop lately. I’ve been sorting through the oddment of snips and scraps that litter my office workspace. I’ve been attempting to make sense of the madness that is my purse/Mary Poppins bag. And – in doing so – I’ve found treasures.

Little random experts from Thomas Family life. Here are a few that stood out from the masses. Stood out to me in particular ways. Hope you enjoy the funny.

___

A conversation that transpired between Stacy and Brian, in response to Stacy’s uncontrollable urge to smuggle treats into the movie theater … and Brian’s unwillingness to oblige.

Stacy: “I’m going to be stuck in the middle of that movie and get thirsty.”

Brian: “You’ve got spit. Use what God gave you. Adam and Eve didn’t have Sunkist.”

___

An event that went down during a shopping trip with Ammon, Stacy and her mom.

Leaving the food court at the mall, Ammon was jabbering and chattering and blathering and otherwise commentating about who-knows-what. Upon rounding the corner and being faced with the larger-than-life Victoria Secret models in the window display of the store, he immediately stopped, fell silent, and pointed. Simply saying, “Oh, wow.”

___

Brian examining, drooling and otherwise loving over his new iPod after it was returned – in working order again – from Apple. All in response to all its new software with it’s organizational and multi-tasking goodness.

Brian: “… there’s just a plethora of enjoyment.”

___

When asked how old he was, Ammon sheepishly avoided answering. He ran off, played for a while, and then returned – with the most serious of looks on his sweet little face – and replied, “I … am five.”

___

This past Sunday, we were sitting in front of some friends at church. Ammon was shamelessly flirting with their little Miss Kaisha. Then, at the top of his lungs, he screams, “I see her toes!”

the need to remember

I remember well, the day we wed -

I can see that picture in my head.

I still believe the words we said,

forever will ring true.

Love is certain, love is kind.

Love is yours, and love is mine.

But it isn't something that we find -

it's something that we do.

It's holding tight, lettin' go.

It's flying high and laying low.

Let your strongest feelings show -

and your weakness, too.

It's a little and a lot to ask -

an endless and a welcome task.

Love isn't something that we have -

it's something that we do.

We help to make each other all that we can be -

though we can find

our strength and inspiration independently.

The way we work together is what sets our love apart -

so closely that you can't tell

where I end and where you start.

It gives me heart, remembering how,

we started with a simple vow.

There's so much to look back on now -

still it feels brand-new.

We're on a road that has no end -

and each day we begin again.

Love's not just something that we're in -

it's something that we do.

We help to make each other all that we can be -

though we can find

our strength and inspiration independently.

The way we work together is what sets our love apart -

so closely that you can't tell

where I end and where you start.

Love is wide, love is long.

Love is deep and love is strong.

Love is why I love this song -

and I hope you love it, too.

I remember well, the day we wed -

I can see that picture in my head.

Love isn't just those words we said -

it's something that we do.

There's no request too big or small -

we give ourselves, we give our all.

Love isn't someplace that we fall.

It's something that we do.

Lyrics: 'It's Something That We Do'; Clint Black

we do believe | a thought on a sunday

Every night, we read from the scriptures as a family. Ammon - the 2-year old - typically has to remind his parents - the adults - that this is the proper protocol. And - in fact - he will not go to bed until we have read from the scriptures. What a special boy he is.

We are currently reading from the Book of Mormon. We have a big, wonderful copy - filled with gorgeous pictures - that remains on display in our living room. This is the book we read from as a family. It is such a special part of the Thomas Family Day.

Tonight - we read from 2 Nephi. We completed the 4th chapter. This is - utterly, completely - one of my very favorite scripture blocks in the Book of Mormon. Ironically enough (despite my disbelief in coincidences) - it's one of Brian's favorites, too. Reading this passage of scripture this time around had a very profound impact on me - a different impact - as we read it as a family.

I realize, yet again, what special things we do believe. We do have the power to conquer sin and temptation. Our mind is in control - our bodies are merely instruments. These few verses from the mouth of Nephi give me hope. Complete hope. If this great prophet of the Lord felt this way from time to time - and yet continued to be the incredible individual that he was - then there is hope for me, too. Maybe there is a better version of myself hiding just underneath the surface. All I need to do, is chisel her out.

A thought to share. A thought this Sabbath Day. A thought ... about what we do believe.

___

16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.

24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

[ 2 Nephi 4 : 16-35 ]

baby jacob | teaser

A brand new ball of fuzz.

Stay tuned for more.