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Isn’t she lovely? This is Brian’s great-grandmother, Claudie. And – for a reason unknown to me at present – she’s been on my mind quite a lot lately.
I never met MawMaw Claudie. She passed away before I entered Brian’s sphere. I never met her; however, I’ve made it a point in recent years to get to know this lovely lady. Through photographs, documents and anecdotes, I have come to learn much about Claudie’s personality, nature and life. I thank the few family members who have helped me in that quest.
Though I didn’t know Claudie in this life, I have felt of her sweet spirit many times since Brian and I met. Many times – mostly around her old home – but three times in particular stand out in my memory. First, on the night of Brian’s car accident that happened prior to our marriage – the one that should have taken his life, but did not. Second, when we were sealed together for eternity. Third, the night of Ammon’s birth – not so much after he was born, but more so beforehand, when I was having a very difficult time of things (a time when I also felt the presence of my great-grandmother, Margaret).
Though I was never around her in this life, I recognize her spirit. I know that this spirit is hers. Funny how that works.
And for the past week she has been a near constant presence in my thoughts.
Today, we had the opportunity to participate in a service project with our ‘old’ ward. We are somewhat in limbo at present – participating in various things that we had already committed to, even though we are no longer in the ward, technically. It was a special service project for our family especially.
Thursday evening while eating dinner, Brian reminded me that he would be taking part in the ward service project on Saturday. I had forgotten about it in all the hustle and bustle that has been our life of late – and he reminded me that we were cleaning up the grounds at MawMaw Claudie’s old church in Wicksburg. My initial thought was, “Oh wow – great! It sure needs it…” and then I immediately began thinking about what to do with Ammon so that I could also participate. I really wanted to go and help – not because I felt obligated to, but because I knew that MawMaw Claudie would have wanted us to. It was her church, it is where she is buried, and it is the location of one of our annual family reunions. We should contribute to its upkeep … and what a wonderful opportunity it would be to serve.
I became excited about the prospect and filled with warm fuzzies. All of which quickly turned … to shame. I was ashamed because, in that same instant, I remembered another emotion. Other thoughts. Thoughts that I had when I heard the announcement the Sunday before in Sacrament meeting. Not knowing the specifics of the project – just knowing when it was – I groaned to myself, thinking, “Oh wow – something e.l.s.e to fill my Saturday. The one and o.n.l.y day that my family gets to be together. And so early in the morning? I will n.o.t be caught d.e.a.d doing that.”
Huh.
I was only willing to participate in the project – only willing to serve – because it was for MawMaw Claudie’s old church. Which is good – but shouldn’t I be willing to serve at all times? For anyone? At any place? At any time? I should not have stipulations attached to the service I render. To my willingness to serve.
I realized while working this morning that my heart should always be willing to serve. That I should always be looking for opportunities to serve. To offer help, love and compassion to those around me.
While I worked this morning, I felt of Claudie’s sweet spirit once again – and I knew with all my heart, that she would want it that way. After all, I’ve learned that that is the life that she led. And I’m quite sure she is still serving along with my Great-Grandma Margaret.
I was in charge of picking up trash and old flowers that were littering the cemetary - and was somewhat (but not completely) surprised that, without working it out that way, the last gravesite I came to this morning was that of MawMaw Claudie and Granddaddy Oscar. I was sure to take some time and sit down there where it was quiet and peaceful and thank them both for the lives they led. I know that Brian thinks the world of both of them. And I'm grateful for the examples they shared with him. I also thanked Claudie for the service she has bestowed to me ... for the comfort that she often lends me. Me – whom she did not know on Earth – but whom she knows now. And whom – I’m pretty sure – she knew before.
Thank you, Claudie – my how I love you. Can’t wait to meet you again.
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When this little boy gets all quiet-like - always, always, go see what he's up to. Especially when his mother has been otherwise preoccupied for hours.
