in honor of an upcoming mother's day

my glass slipper

Mmmmmm ...

Mmmmmm ...

So this is love,

Mmmmmm ...

so this is love.

So this is what makes life divine.

I’m all aglow,

Mmmmmm ...

and now I know -

the key to all heaven is mine.

My heart has wings,

Mmmmmm ...

and I can fly.

I’ll touch ev’ry star in the sky.

So this is the miracle

that I’ve been dreaming of -

Mmmmmm ...

Mmmmmm ...

So this is love.

Lyrics: So This Is Love; Cinderella; Mack David, Jerry Livingston, Al Hoffman

the final spin

I haven’t been - at all - quiet about how much I detest and despise my washing machine. Over these last eight years, I have endured hard, and I have endured long. And I have endured much. Yes. Very much.

After 25+ years, our washer has truly earned a rest. And - given the circumstances - I was so giddy about that prospect that I lost the ability to speak momentarily. Absolutely - this has been quite the eventful weekend for our family. A weekend that has brought with it much sleep deprivation and much research and much reflection.

Once we were certain that we were improving our situation and were even more certain that a new washer and dryer would be coming to our home (can you tell that I was not going to set myself up for failure and disappointment here?) - I began planning my own personal good-riddance party. It would include chains and sledgehammers and blowtorches and metal bats - and dynamite if I could get my hands on it. Because you’d better believe I was going to beat every. single. one. of my past frustrations out of that retched washing machine. I was going to exact my revenge ... and it would be acute. 

I told this to my mother, and she - possibly joking - said, “Be careful ... it has one more night to duck-walk down the hall in the darkness and exact complete and horrible revenge on you.” After so long - I couldn’t deny that it was a very likely possibility. We know each other well, that old machine and I.

The humorous aside here, though, actually comes in the form of another appliance. I got some new drip pans for my stovetop this weekend. My old ones were long past-due being replaced, and I finally remembered to grab some at the store. The ones that I always get, I might add. I got around to opening the package today - and eventually realized that they weren’t going to fit under my burners. After the old ones were gone, of course. The truth is, I wasted a ridiculous amount of time trying to figure out why the new ones weren’t working - because, again, they were the pans I always get. I looked on the package, saw the brands that these pans wouldn’t work for, and then went back to work - trying to force the burners to fit on top. Suddenly, my own eyes snapped upward, and I realized - and it sunk in for the first time - what brand my stove was. And not only will these pans not work for it ... but it is the same brand as that old, decrepit washing machine. Wouldn’t you know. The odds are actually fairly slim. So now, I can’t use my stove until I replace these pans. Which may prove to be some fun.

Revenge beyond the grave is sweet indeed.

After cleaning behind and underneath the old washer and dryer last night in preparation for the new, Brian said to me, “Come on ... you know you’re going to miss her.” Firstly, I was quick to point out that ‘the beast’ was no she. Affectionately referred to by myself as Jugdish - a beast like that could only be a he. Secondly ... well, I rolled my eyes. Certain that I would never miss this thing that had caused me to contemplate therapy.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Because the truth is: I did shed a tear when I saw him ride away today - with the scrapyard in his future. Simply, I think, because he has been with us since the beginning. Truly - part of our history was casually being wheeled out the door. With an equal measure of memories, and aggravation. And, oh the memories. And, oh ... the aggravation.

Never did I dream that I would mourn his farewell.

In that moment, I thought of all the hours we’ve spent in one another’s company. All the antics that I cursed - quite literally and quite colorfully. It may take some getting used to - not being able to hear him from down the road. Or catching him duck-walk down the hall. His goldness. I may even miss the smell of burning rubber from time to time. Or the rust streaks on my clothing.

But more than anything, I think I’ll miss sitting Ammon on its side, so he can help me load him up. A task Amm will still help me with - but in a different way. I’ll miss Ammon covering its front with magnets ... and spending countless hours ‘fixing’ him with his tools.

Yes - in hindsight I shed a tear. Isn’t that the way it always works? You never realize just how much someone means, until they are no longer there. Me ... well. Maybe I spent a little too much time cursing Jugdish’s name.

The true downpour came when I remembered all the service that he rendered my family. When I truly did. All the memories and treasures that have gone in his drum. All the things I trusted with him - despite the antics. I remembered all the time we worked side by side washing countless tiny socks and burp cloths and swaddling blankets. All the onesies. Every tiny, sweet and pristine thing that I ever-so-carefully kept perfect for my special, precious child. I thought of all the spit-up he washed out. All the green beans. Every worn knee - blackened from crawling. Even though Jugdish can’t keep a thing clean now - I can’t help but remember how much he worked for me then, and how well. Granted, we both worked. And tirelessly. But I can never repay him. In truth - I am forever grateful.

I am so very thankful for this Mother’s Day gift. I don’t care that it is something that will make me work. It is a blessing - and will benefit my family. Immensely. As I reflect on my years with Jugdish - I look forward to this new start, and the opportunity for new memories with his replacement. Lucy, I’ve named her. I smile at the thought of all the stains she will beat out. Of the service she will bestow. And my heart hopes that she, too, will one day keep sweet things pure for me and mine.

But today, my laundry room will remain silent. A quiet reminder. Thank you, Jugdish. For you know it’s true. I’m going to miss you. My heart goes with you as you make this final journey.

Give ‘em heck.

victoria and jonathan | teaser

What a fun afternoon with these two lovebirds.

Stay tuned for more.

baby jenna | teaser

The Mitchell Miss. 

Oh ... how I love her.

Stay tuned for more.

face the music and dance

Today, I’m honoring the life of one of my very favorite women -

who passed away 17 years ago today.

I’m thankful that she’s always been a part of my life.

Thank you, Ginger.

“Let’s Face the Music and Dance”, Follow the Fleet (1936), Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers

jenna lynn | sneak peek

Our friends, the Mitchell’s, welcomed their sweet baby girl last Friday.

Needless to say, it was an exciting day.

I was originally slated to be in the delivery room to welcome Miss Jenna Lynn, and document this beautiful event with my camera and lens. I ended up pulling out of that at the last minute for very personal reasons - and a small piece of me now regrets it. But I contented myself in being the first visitor, outside of Jenna’s brothers and her grandma. And I was amazed, as I always seem to be, at just how much we felt like family while being in Room 261.

What a sweet pink thing she is - straight from heaven. How she makes her family complete. It was such a profound thing to witness the love in that room. Her excited brothers, her proud dad, and her angelic mother.

A family of six.

She is a perfect cookie-cutter girly version of her brothers. I loved how mellow she is. How she rolled with the punches and how she completely thrived in the relative chaos that her brothers and Ammon brought. I have spent some time with Jenna since that day, and I continue to soak up her sweetness. Continue to drink it in. She is a special soul. And I cannot wait to see what new attributes she brings to her family. For she already has.

Welcome to this world, sweet baby girl. We’re honored to have you.

chris and heather, forever indebted | sneak peek

When my friend Chris brought his brand-spanking-new fiancé home to visit for a bit this last week, I was able to take some engagement photos for them. And what an afternoon it was. It was hot - but I didn’t feel it. It was buggy and creepy and crawly - but I didn’t notice. I was enthralled with the love of these two. Simply being them. I could have watched all the day long. In fact, I had to keep reminding myself that I had a job to do - though it certainly never felt like work. And they made it easy. Oh, so easy. They kept telling me ‘thank you’, and continue to do so - and I, myself, continue to think ‘why in the name of all that’s good on this earth, are you thanking me’. 

To them, I am forever indebted. For allowing me to spend this time with them. For allowing me to enter in - and to play a part. For allowing me to document this special time in their lives. With every beat of my heart, I say to them: It was, and is, a pleasure. An honor that I cannot, and will never, forget.

I’ve thought long and hard about what I wanted to say today. But the truth of the matter is that I am so incandescently happy that words utterly fail me. And that’s not a good look for me. Well ... maybe it is. There is no way that I could ever possibly say all that my heart wishes to express today.

I knew the moment I met him that summer Sunday before we started the 9th grade, that he would be my best and most irreplaceable friend for those remaining school years - and one of the most important. And that he was.

He could make me laugh. He provided a safe harbor that I needed at the time. He picked me up when I would fall ... metaphorically and literally, I’m humored to say. He was my friend when the chips were down. He knew my voice and he knew my heart. He could read my eyes. He pressured me to read that first Harry Potter book - and he became the Sirius to my Lupin. He made me strive to be better. He helped make me who I am today. He was everything that a friend should be. I hope that I returned the favor. And even though life has taken us on different roads and different paths, I am honored to still be able to call him my friend. Forever indebted.

Heather. Dear, gorgeous girl. One of the kindest, sweetest, loveliest women that I have the pleasure of knowing. Beautiful - inside and out. One who knows the meaning of fun. Grounded. Strong. Who I wish I was more like. Even though I don’t yet know her well - these things I know ring true. Even though I have just met her - she has already notched out a place for herself on that treasured list of people that I love. My friend deserves her - and vice versa. I feel the love that they have for each other. I see the peace on his face, and I can read it in his eyes. And I am thankful for that, and for its cause. Forever indebted.

Chris and Heather will be married next month in California, and oh how I wish that I could be there in person. As they embark on this road that will lead them to Eternity, I can’t help but cheer them on. I can’t help but be overjoyed for them. And grateful - simply because of the graciousness they bestow in being my friends.

I look to the future with excited eyes. With all these new and perfect additions - with everything just the way it was always meant to be.

I’ll say it again. Forever indebted.

Enjoy.